Fan-Dism

1st Post in NZ. Cool...

2009-03-05T11:46:00.015+08:00

Yup, ppl... Havent updated 4 a long time.. But, i've got reasons 4 dat... As u guys no, i'm now in Auckland, NZ, doin my Bac. of Engineerin... Arrived here on 23rd Feb. n havent got enuf time 2 pay attention to my blog coz there are just too many things i needa deal with in this new environment... Now, i've settled down well... I actually feel auckland is a kinda cool place... U get air-cond everywhere u go... N the wind here is just exciting..!! Er... May be dat oni applies on me coz i love wind blowing straight n strongly at my face... Dat's like "Wow!!"... Lol...

N well.. B4 i start goin bla bla bla wit my adventure, i would really wan 2 thank a bunch of new frens i met here... These great frens made my life here far more interestin than i tot... They brought us around, showin us all the places, tellin us wat we shud do, invitin us 2 every activities they involve in n all... The bestest thing of all, they never tot of us as a burden... So, i really wana thank u guys so so so much...

Thanx, JOY, Sze Wei, Kevin, Lilly, n Lina... U guys seriously Roxx..!!

N now back 2 the crap... Haha... I've been explorin the city of Auckland 4 the previous week... But, i can't recall the names of the places i've been, due to my damn-kaw-freakin-short memory span... However, if i ever go to those places again, i can probably recognize them, i guess... Hehe... Neway, i've posted sum pics on my facebook... So, i guess i've just skip the photo part... Lol...

As 4 this week, i went 2 the Jazz n Blues Music Festival (i tink dat's the rite title for the event). It was located at Mission Bay. We (Jason, Leslie, Sze Wei, Kevin n I) took a bus there n met up wit Lilly n her fren later in the evening... It was kinda fun coz it's my 1st time steppin on NZ beach... Haha... Jazz n blues isnt the genre i like, though... Hehe... Here's sum photos taken...

Jason kena "Shit Bomb" HaHaHa...

Hmm... One of them must be the culprit...

N yesterday, we went to Western Park in Ponsonby 4 an openair movie... It was really fun last week, so i tot i shud be there again this week... Lol... Unlike the previous Wed, I managed 2 get sum photos b4 the sky got dark... It was really cold yesterday nite n the movie wasnt as good as the 1 last week... So, it didnt turn out to be as excitin as i expected... However, i'll be goin again next week... 4 Casino Royale... So, no doubt bout the quality... But, hopefully the weather will be nice dat day... Lol...

Btw, there was probably another reason y i didnt quite enjoy the movie, which is the cute dogs owned by a couple sittin in front of us (or husband n wife, according 2 Joy) The dogs totally distracted me wit their cute-ness... Damn...

Sumhow, Joy just couldnt get a nice pic of the dogs...

No skills i guess... Lol...

$$$ = Syok Syok Syok

2009-01-22T22:55:00.006+08:00

Women Get Better Sex From Men With Money
~ New Straits Times, Mon, 19th Jan 2009

Yup, when every1 is busy flippin thru papers 4 updates on Gaza being bombarded n Obama's preparation 4 inauguration, i, me, yes, saya found this highly appealin article on the 15th page of NST's Monday issue... Lol...
Hmm.. Now, let me highlight to all of you, the back bone or the core of the entire article...

"Women's orgasm frequency increases with the income of their partner."
~ Dr. Thomas Pollet, psychologist of the Newcastle University

This probably explains well, why rich ppl tend to get hot chicks, no matter how ugly or hideous they are... So, Jason, a little tip 4 yah, at least be a millionaire, if not u never gonna get a hot chick... Lol... Neway, back 2 the point... In short, the research says dat the more money u hav, the more frequent ur betina is gonna reach orgasm... So, lets make an assumption dat a man with an average monthly income of $4000 can hav his wife achieves orgasm once everytime they have sex... N the number of orgasms increases by 1 as the salary multiplied by 2... Then, we'll let sum simple calculations prove u the magic of $$$...
First,
$4000 = 1
$4000 x 2 = $8000 = 2
Now, we get a general formula,
$4000 x n = n times orgasm
So, ....
:
:
:
:
33.5billion = 24
67billion = 25

Ladies n gentlemen, i've quadruple checked my calculation... N hav no worries, there isnt a single miscalculation... A total of 25 times orgasm a lady'll at least get if she sleeps wit the richest man on earth, Warren Buffett (62billion)... N dat's seriously wat we call "Gettin Fucked in the Heaven"..!!

Random Piece of Tot 4

2009-01-13T11:01:00.009+08:00

Question:

We all know the defence mechanism lizards have. Their tail can grow again when it dropped. So, here comes the question.

Wat happens when the famous Cicakman got his penis chopped off?
Btw, get him watch porn b4 choppin... *providin a prostitute or a stripper is way too uneconomical.

My Answer:
4get the fuckin myth..!! NO way it's gonna grow back again... He'll just shout his lungs out, bleed like mad n then die (due to the unimaginable agony suffered) Or if he's lucky enuf 2 meet the Flash, the Flash'll probably manage to pick his fallen dick up n send him 2 hospital in time. Then, it's up to the skills of the surgeon 2 revive his dick...
In short, Cicakman is not as cicak-ish as u tot... Screw him..!!

Opposite Sex, Opposite Words

2009-01-08T14:06:00.008+08:00

Been kinda free recently... So, all kind of shit actually came across my mind (apart from those centaur n the hulk type of shit la) Lol... Talked to a fren 2 days ago... Our conversation had me wonder bout sum crappy stuffs... Hehe....
Yes, according 2 her, (it was a she, btw) a gf tends to say things 2 her bf in ways which are opposite of her true intention... This so-called reliable (she claimed it to be, coz she said she noes women better than i do) remark sumhow dragged me into a bit of a brainstorm... Lol... Yup, i tried ta recall as many lines from as many gals i've possibly heard of, n started analysin those words uttered... N well... i pretty much came 2 a conclusion, agreeing the remark she made... Let's look at sum examples...

B = Boyfren
G = Girlfren
X = "Angel" in gf's heart
*Pls be reminded dat X is an internal monologue

Scenario 1
Watchin "Twilight"...
B: Heyz, look at Edward Cullen... His face is distorted... I'm even more handsome than him ler...
G: Ha-ha... Dat's SO funny... He's way better looking than u, k... Stop being perasan...
X: Holy, u r so freakin rite... U r even more handsome than Brad Pitt...

Scenario 2
Aft the bf done sumtink wrong...
B: I'm so sorry, dear... Here's 99roses, as my apology... I swear i'll neva do it again...
G: U asshole, I'm so not gonna talk to u again... Go bang the wall...
X: Oh yeah..!! U r 4given, come bang me now..!!

Scenario 3
After the the gf realizes her period hasnt come 4 2months edi...
B: Nah, take this stick n go check if we really "tiok tao bio" (kena jackpot)
G: Dun wan la...
X: ...*Take it n go 2 toilet
Few minutes later...
G: How lar now? Really kena liao...
B: Na beh, zhin eh si tiok beh bio pun boh anei zhun ar... *Panic. How i no how?
G: All ur fault la... Ask u use "套" u dun wan... Now tai chi tua diao liao lo...
X: Ho chai u didnt use... If not wa mana wu anei song dat night... Hehe...

Scenario 4
Tryin out a suit at G2000...
B: How do i look in this?
G: Wow... 1 word describes it all... Cool..!!
X: I wud prefer u naked... At least, dat'll be a little more appealin than only a boxer... Sigh...

Scenario 5
On the bed... *u no doin wat la...
B: I love yah so much, ling...
G: I love u too, dear...
X: Love u, my foot!! Who'll ever be so foolish, silly, witless, stupid, idiotic, brainless, retarded, dumb, blind, n deaf 2 hav fallen for you... Hell..!!

So, guys, now u no how 2 read a gal's mind, havent u? Lol... Tell u wat... Those crap isnt my main point 2day... Hahaha...
Wat i really wanna say here is, is it even necessary 4 gals 2 create lies 2 deceive their beloved bfs' souls? I was told, gals make it this way so dat they dun hurt the bfs' feelings... Well... Here comes the contrary... If u love ur bf, u wud hav been more than truthful 2 him... U'll just needa show him or say to him wateva comes truly from ur heart... On the other hand, gals tell lies, for the sake of their bfs' feelings... Does this imply dat gals dun truly love their partners n so, they arent being honest to the other half?
At times, gals defend themselves by sayin, i just dun wanna hurt him... Hmm... Dat's notink but an excuse... An excuse 2 justify their crime of foolin with men's faith in them...

Gals out there readin this post... I mean no offense, but only sayin out sumtink many ppl may not hav realized... To be fair, men do lie to gals too... N I'm not sayin dat it's rite... My sole intention here is to tell couples out there, be frank to ur partners... Treasure the love n faith dat bond u together... It means a lot 2 the other half 4 being truthful... No1 wishes to hav a relationship wit a foundation built up wit lies... It's freakin fragile n vulnerable... Worse, u'll hav no idea when it's gonna collapse... So, beware, my fren... U might hav urself burried alive...
Lol...^-^

Starry Bernabeu

2009-01-05T16:44:00.008+08:00

New Star Emerges ~
Klaas Jan Huntelaar

Aft a long winter break, La Liga is back in rumble again... No doubt, Real is way behind the Catalan on the table... Despite separated by 12points, many pundits still believe Real has not dropped out of the title race yet... Real still poses threat to their rivals... As for the fans, they are optimistic wit the managin skills of current Man-In-Charge, Juande Ramos...

Real's victory over El Submarino at home proves Real's determination in the race... The main sparkle of the game was the debut of the freshly-signed young dutch talent, Klaas Jan Huntelaar... He showed a good performance on his debut... It wasnt as great as i expected, though...

However, i personally believe he's gonna prove he worths the price in no time... He's gonna shine even brighter than Samuel Eto'o, Aguero, Rooney or any other garbage strikers out there... So, people, just wait n see... Hail Huntelaar..!!

Random Piece of Tot 3

2009-01-05T12:28:00.007+08:00

Question:

Wat will possibly happen when The Hulk is screwing sum1?

My answer:

B4 he himself realizes, he'll get so aroused dat his heart rate hits the limit n...
KaBoOm..!! His cock will turn enormously huge n tear off the lady's pussy... Into 2 or maybe a few pieces (dependin on the *collision period) N well... Asshole is torn if The Hulk is a gay... Lol...

*Refer to John, the Nerd for further explanation on "collision period"

Nike Zoom Touch

2009-01-04T14:42:00.005+08:00

A pair of new shoes for me..!!

Didnt get nike hyperdunk in the end, coz it was fuckin expensive...
Bought this pair instead... Reasons? It isnt hideous, n didnt cost me much... Get to save my budget 4 other stuffs... Lol...

Money Not Enough!!

2009-01-01T22:56:00.006+08:00

Yup, been away 4 long... Was kinda busy lately... Went 2 Perak, back 2 klang (settle my Letter of Good Conduct) then 2 Perak n Perlis again... Help out in my uncle's weddin dinner... Went for medical check up n stuffs la...

Quite sum interestin things happened.. The most remarkable one wud be the med check 2days ago... I didnt bring enough money 2 the hospital... Lol... Plus, i actually 4gotten 2 bring along my freakin credit card there... There was only 330 bucks in my wallet... I tot it wud hav been more than enough coz John told me they charged only 230... I still didnt see the crisis comin when i settled the 1st bill.. It was only 120... N i tot i wud only needa pay another 110bucks later... Who noes, when i went 4 my blood and yurine test, i almost got my cock sucked into my body (dat reminds me of Jason a.k.a "Suk-zi-ke" san) Lol... The receptionist there pass me the receipt n said, "185 ringgit, pls"... I went thru n receipt n i figured out they actually applied xtra charges 4 both the JPA forms i brought along.. I was like, Fuck!! only RM10+ left... N i gotta go 4 X-ray... My survival's instinct told me dat i shud call my dad 4 help... N i did...

Dad: Wat?!
Me: Pa, not enough money, how?
Dad: Where's ur credit card?
Me: Didnt bring...
Dad: I go bank in money 2 ur account now... 500 enough?
Me: Aduhai, my daily limit only 200bucks le...
Dad: Like dat ar, not enough money u tell them JPA mia form dun wan do 1st la...
Me: Ok... Call me aft u done transferin the money...

*FYI, my account only left 100bucks dat time... Lol...

I sat there n waited 4 my dad to call... Aft, dunno how long (didnt hav the mood 2 check out the time), he called and told me he settled liao... So, went n tried withdrawin the money... For sum reasons, i couldnt withdraw a cent from the ATM... I tot the machine got prob, so went searchin in the area near by... There was another ATM, but still, couldnt get any shit from it... N again, my instinct told me 2 go 2 the counter n ask how much i still gota pay... They told me 30, i was a little relieved, yet i still got not enough money... At the end of the day, wat saved the day was the 50bucks which i folded it into a love shape n kept it in my wallet... Cool huh... Dat's basically the end of the story... Hope no1 gt bored... Lol...

Btw, although i was kinda busy, i still had time 4 sum random tots geh... Check out the next post yah... Lol...

Random Piece of Tot 2

2008-12-07T23:12:00.009+08:00

Question:

Wat will you do if Jessica Alba's bikini top falls off right in front of you

My Answers:
a) Stupid Man: I'll turn and look away till she's done fixing it.
b) Normal Man: I'll stare at her bxxbs as long as i could.
c) Intelligent, Clever and a Real Man: I'll help her cover, with my hands... Lol...

一个垂钓者的故事

2008-12-07T21:52:00.005+08:00

夜深了，
他，孤单地坐在海边，
全神贯注地，
垂钓着。
惟有无情的海风，
冷冷的，
伴随着。

他心知，、
黑夜是难熬的，
垂钓时枯闷的,
但他却选择了奋不顾身，
因为他相信，
鱼只才是他寂寞的解药。

他，
曾经相信，
付出热忱与真心，
就会有鱼上钓，
无奈，
他换来的却是一只伪装着的河豚，
把他这无知的初学者
刺的遍体鳞伤。

他，
曾经相信，
低调却迷人的孔雀鱼，
会爱上他费心准备的鱼饵，
无奈，
他并不晓得，
原来大海并不是它遨游，起舞的天堂，
他和它，
只能黯然地擦肩而过。

百般挫折与冷眼，
吓退了他的信心，
但没夺走他的信念，
就算世人把他当傻瓜，
他依然等待，
因为他知道，
垂钓是他的天赋，
下一次上钓的，会更好。

Random Piece of Tot 1

2008-12-05T22:57:00.008+08:00

Question:

Do centaurs really exist? If they do, wat would their porno be like?

My Answer:
Err... They probably existed, or still existing... Porno? Hmmm... May be they look at each other, hav french kiss and all the fondling from the front... N, start bxxwjxb, fixxxring, pxxsy-lxxking, n banging from the back... Cool..!!

Twisted Mankind... Sigh...

2008-12-04T21:30:00.003+08:00

The world has gone so wrong... Some men started to 4get where they came from n where they belonged to in the cycle of life... They tend to go so far... To the extent dat they challenge Gods... These naive beings start to see themselves as great as Gods... They start claiming they were born as handsome as Gods... With his inproportinate body structure, a deep hole on his chest and Cao-Ah-Guaness, he calls himself Zeus; With his horse like face n bones n organs visible, lack of nutrien n horrifyingly thin body, he calls himself Hades...

Worse, they tell the world that they are able to bring families peace and prosperity, wit charges applied summore... Damn..!! At the same time, they threathen the world that they will "Pua" (or "Splash" in direct translation) families wit disaster and misfortune if the world pissed them off... Besides, they want to be prayed with joss sticks... N yes, they demanded only for high quality ones, or else, u will be punished in different inhumane method...

"U better sembah dengan colok bagus bagus,
or else kena electric shock, kena bakar, kena mati lemas!"
~ Tuhan Zeus with a hole on his chest ~

Holy Shitt..!! People nowadays really hav their minds twisted so badly... I got no idea how they come to think that they are as great lookin as Zaeus nd Hades... From their hair to toes, there's no resemblance at all... At the very least, they shud hav their balls hangin uncovered like some of real Greek Gods... Yup, fake Zeus, i said balls... You are no god coz u got no balls... Lol... Perhaps, u can try imaginin urself a goddess... N wit the appearnce u hav, hmm.... Goddess of All Holes and Proportionality, which doesnt exist.... N dear fake Hades, the only god u r suitable for is one of the Chinese's Hell Embassadors, "Beh Bin" (马面), which is not as handsome as u tot... So, stop embarassin urselves, my frens...

FanDi in IJN

2008-12-04T17:32:00.000+08:00

Went to IJN (Institute Jantung Negara) yesterday... Had a series of check up n consultation... The conclusion the "great" cardiology consultant came to was... "Ok, u got palpitation..." FYI, dat decision was made 5min after i entered his room... Fuiyo, sounds pro huh? Well... Let's c if i can recall our conversation... Hmmm...

Doc: So, tell me how did u feel...
Me: Heart beatin fast, shortness of breath, felt a little nervous, which i got no idea y n bla bla bla...
Doc: When was the first time?
Me: Er... Dunno... Ask my dad, he has the record...
Doc: How often does it occur?
Me: ......... *Turned n looked at my dad
Doc: Ok, u got palpitation...
Me: Hmmmmmm......

Dat was 5mins... The next 10mins (at least it's a bit longer this time), he told me wat i need 2 do...

Doc: Ok, I'll put u thru a prosedure, EP...
Me: Oh ok... Wat's EP all about??
Doc: We'll put a wire from ur thigh n connect it 2 your heart, n we'll check if there's any extra wire in your heart... If there's we'll just kill it off...
Me: ......... *Ok... Your language's simple enuf...
Dad: Is there any risks?
Doc: Yeah, everytink has risks... (Me: ......... *KaBoOMm..!! za dao) The risks is only 1%... (Me: ......... *Shit!! wat if i'm the 1 in hundred?!)
--- A moment of silence ---
Doc: Ok, u dun need 2 make a decision now... I'll just put u on the list n if u decide not to, call my nurse 2 cancel the session...
Dad & I: Ok... Thank you, doc...

Dat's basically all i had with the doctor... Then, went to the next counter, Counter 52, i remember.. Lol... Passed my file 2 the receptionist n waited 4 my turn... While waiting, read sumtink pleasant on The Sun...

Yes, everybody!! Klaas Jan Huntelaar will be joining Real Madrid with a €20 million transfer!! Another young talent, cool signing... Hooray..!!

Neway, back to the topic... Er... Aft another 45min, i think... My name was finally called... A guy led me to a room, a dark 1 summore... He asked me 2 take off my shirt n lie down... I was a little nervous coz dat was my first time, u no... Then the guy got sum gel on his hand, n his hand started runnin all over my left chest, spreadin the gel evenly... Right after that, he took out a long, cylindrical, dildo-like piece of plastic n started pokin my chest... Dat moment, I was hit by continuous waves of pleasure... Hahahaha.... Coz i actually get to see the structure of my heart on the screen n it was beating le... Damn "cio" le... Lol... Dat was actually echocardiogram la... Same tech used when getting image of foetus in the womb...

Next, went 2 another room n got a piece of polymer crap, wit only 2 buttons on it... They call it rhythm card.. I'll hav to record my heart rate if palpitation happens again in the coming 2weeks... The man there gave instructions n i left... Last stop was the lab where i gave them my blood sample... The only thing interesting there was the medical assistant there... "Mak" was her name... When she asked to sit down, i was like... "Yes, Mom..." Haha...

After all that, settled the bill n ciaoz...

P.S. The lady at the reception was kinda pretty ler... Lol... Till now, i'm still wondering why she kept lookin at me, instead while answering my dad's question... Perhaps, i'm just too charmin dat she couldnt get her eyes off me... Wakaka...

I'm Back!!

2008-11-29T23:48:00.000+08:00

Hmm... Been having dilemma whether onot to start bloggin again... N Ong, ur "eat-sleep-shit" theory almost made me tot only freakin idiots like john blog... Lol... Still, I'm back...

Latest update? Undergoing a transition period in the "Journey of Life"... Lol... Soon, i will be movin on to the next phase of life... N u no wat it is... Hehe...

Life has been weird these few days... There's alwiz like a blend of reminiscence and excitement flushing down my mind (of coz the biggest element is still boredom). There are so many things to think, about the past 17months... I wished i could call dat period of time great, but dat just wasn't the case... Shit happened, i yelled at my frens, i emo-ed, i cried n i sumhow "manage" 2 push myself far away from many of my frens... N all these shit just make me feel like shoutin out loud, "Fuck You, Fan Di!! You Suck, Bloody Idiot!!" I couldnt help to wonder, did i really spend this 17 months like how great i expected it to be?

Perhaps, my answer would be a big "No" 2weeks ago. But, now, I can tell each n every fuckers in this world, I had a wonderful time!! U can find no 2nd NGO inj any other parts of the world, u can find no other rooms as cool as 8/510, n u can never find a butt feels as good as KK's when u smack it... Haha... The only thing now worth reminiscing is only frens i met in dat horrible piece of land... N dat 1 thing is more than enuf 2 tell how great my life was... Lol...

Dear "suckaz who think dat u are my fren",
I Love You Guys!! I'm sure we'll meet again soon... Believe me, we're heroes, n sumhow, we're all connected... Lol!!!

*Darlings back in Klang, dun eva feel neglected coz i miss u guys n dying 2 giv yah my love... (dat sounds wrong) Hahaha....